Today, I decided to deviate slightly away from what I usually talk about. I thought, “Hey! Why not let’s share something deeper from within?”
Let’s start with sharing a little about myself.
As a child, I started out from a single – ed school. For some of you who may not know, this means that I was in a single gender school. I had few ideas of what a boy is like or how they should be like outside of the context of my own family, my own school. Yet, I thank God that my elementary school instilled in me some rather in-depth Catholic values and taught me what makes me a prude woman.
Moving on to high school, I was introduced to boys which, in the initial stages, find them rather annoying creatures to mix with. Not for long, until my friends started having crushes on boys from classes next door and boys were sending letters to girls in my class.
For the very first time, I craved for attention. I thought having such attention will deem me as “one of the prettier girls” in class. However it may seem, I was not meant to be “the prettier one” but the ugly tomboy.
The ugly tomboy as I was; I was never the type of girl who liked to play with barbie dolls. I tried, but ever since I had accidentally flung one of my friend’s barbie doll out of the window, I never played with them ever again. Instead, I loved running out in the sun, playing soccer, playing basketball with the boys. Usually, boys I never felt any chemistry for.
When I turned 15, I learnt that boys paid attention to me when we played the same sports. Hence, I would say, I groomed myself to be “the pretty girl who played soccer.” I put behind my geeky glasses, grew out my hair despite my mum’s nagging. I paid more attention to playing sports and self – grooming more than studying, because I thought that was a more important thing in life than education. (Looking back now, I feel so silly)
Moving on from then, my friends from the opposite gender grew. Way more than I had expected. Despite that, I had only kept a few close by and the rest behind the fence. (Not saying that I am popular or anything. I do have quite a few female friends too. Just, I can’t seem to figure out why females tend to be a lot more bitchier than I thought.)
So coming back to the topic, I had been pondering on the definition “Slut” for a rather long time. My definition of a “slut” is a girl who makes herself look easy in front of a man, simple terms, a woman who sleeps around.
I will say, in the present days, people no much more care about the relationship they have with others than their own feelings. Some of us may have dated a couple of men, some of us may have slept with a couple of men. So, what makes you prude and the other not?
Well for me, I think despite having many friends of the opposite gender, you don’t have a single thought of cheating on your significant other- That way, you will seem more prude than others.
I remember being once called into the principal’s office in elementary school for punching up a girl in class. My principal said to me, “In whatever actions you take, you have to be ready to bear the consequences.”
Putting it into this context, you can date many as you like, you can have many male friends as you like as well as you can sleep with many as you like. But, are you ready to bear with the consequences?
I have never imagined for once, myself being a preggie before marriage. So I had always taken precautions in my relationship. I have never imagined for once, going out with a man, only for his friend to awkwardly recognise me as his ex. So I had always been careful with who I dated and made serious choices with my relationships.
I just never wanted for someone to have the slightest idea that I am a slut. Hence, I never smiled at random strangers when I hung out with my friends nor flirt with others when I know I am attached.
Sometimes in life, it isn’t about how pretty you are, it isn’t about how much attention you’ve got, but how precious you are.
Whether you believe in a God or not, I have always hoped for my friends out there and all the women out there to know and harp on it – “I am precious!” You’re precious to your family, to God, to your friends. So when you decide to take a step in life. When you feel vulnerable to take off your clothes in front of man, DON’T! If a man treasures you, he will not love you for the pleasures you give with your body. If a man treasures you, he will protect you and not hurt you.
On the other hand, if you feel like when you lost your virginity and dated more men than your friend did and that makes you more popular than her. You are not! If you feel like you lack attention or love from your parents, your friends; look yourself in the mirror! Why can’t you love yourself first? Why can’t you pay more attention to yourself?!
When you learn to love yourself first, that is when you will learn to love someone else. That is also likewise, when you will learn not to hurt your significant other; by cheating or sleeping with someone else. Most importantly, don’t lose sight of who you are. Don’t mistreat yourself and cry about someone else mistreating you. You have to learn to treat yourself with some respect, before someone else can respect you.
I think I have said pretty much a whole lot for now. Sometimes.. secretly, I do wish to be a lobbyist or an advocate, to hope to change the World. But, let’s just take baby steps. hehe~
I hope this kicks in an idea for you to start 2016 right! Even if you aren’t precious to anyone else. You’re precious to me.